There is a fundamental confusion around what a person’s sexuality means even without going down the alphabet of LGTBQ – because none of the old language or established terminology seems to apply. However there are three aspects that have to be addressed before you start to apply the fancy lettering of social justice to help you understand your own intersexuality.
These are:
1 – Biological Chromosomes XX or XY
2 – Gender Expression
3 – Sexual Attraction
These three factors can work independently, and although in times of yore, when men were men, the three coincided, freedom of expression means they no longer have to.
1 – Biological Chromosomes – that is XX, XY or in extremely rarely a variation of those chromosomes, such as XXY, XYY or even a patchy mosaic. There are also one or two hormonal quirks around where a man (XY) does not respond to testosterone and appears to be female, or a woman might have ambiguous looking genitalia because of excessive levels or sensitivity to testosterone. Rarities aside (less than one in a thousand), everyone has either female XX chromosomes or XY chromosomes. XX chromosomes lead to the development of a female body and XY to a male body. The differences between the sexes are evident even before birth, male babies are more likely to die in the womb, and are more likely to be born prematurely than female babies.
Every cell in a person’s body has their specific sex chromosomes in it, it is part of who they are and we are centuries from being able to produce a living animal that does not have specific sex chromosomes.
2 – Gender Expression – how you present yourself to the world. Male and female skeletons have different forms and different functions. Men are stronger, even Martina Navratilova, long time women’s tennis champion, would only have ranked 1000 in open combat between the genders. Nonetheless, just as some women like to wear trousers, jackets and other items of traditionally male clothing, and take up traditionally male occupations such as surgery and truck driving, so some men prefer to wear dresses and make up and work as models, nurses and stay at home husbands. Women should not be the only ones with choice.
The trend for men to take the process one step further, rather just identifying as women, undergoing gender reassignment surgery and even puberty blocking hormones displays a sad naivety, a touching and misplaced faith in doctors to work miracles. The results of gender reassignment surgery are not good. If you have a strong stomach search for ‘phalloplasty’ and ‘vaginoplasty’. Skeletal differences – from face to neck, shoulders, hands, waist, hips and feet are too widespread for even the most adventurous plastic surgeon. The differences appear well before puberty – to the point that the only rational intervention is in the womb. The lesson is that the cosmetic appearances of gender transformation surgeries are not good. Neither is there any evidence of any psychological benefit to people who go through the process. Suicide rates remain high in all those who are dissatisfied with what nature gave them. Biologically men and women very different. Nonetheless this biology does not have to be the basis of a culture that excludes one or other gender from different roles, rather we should be able to express our skills and talents independently. And without doubt we could use more imagination when designing a wardrobe for modern men.
3 – Sexual Attraction – who you find attractive. Given the smorgasbord of sexuality on offer, this might take some to work out. Moreover it might not always be fixed depending on were you are in life, what you want from a partner and what you have to offer. A trans woman might find men or women attractive and a trans man might equally identify as a gay man or lesbian. Attraction is deeply personal, and although each Age has held up its ideals, From Charles’s II with his shoulder length curly brown locks, silk jackets and moustache, to Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling, it is a matter of personal taste as to who you like to find on the neighbouring pillow when you wake up in the morning.
The three alternative above, gives each biological gender four choices. If each possibility wants their own initial, plus extras for those who a bit of both or want to have the freedom to change between their options we are looking at dedicating most of the alphabet towards finding someone their ‘correct designation’.
It is hard to work out where you fit in, and too many choices can make the decision much harder. Self knowledge is vital, how you feel in yourself and how you feel about the people and challenges around you. Whatever you choose, you may not be in the majority but equally you are highly unlikely to be alone in making those choices.